A father without a sun


Everyone is happy on a sunny day. We smile and feel grateful for the warmth that the sun brings. Many things get accomplished on a sunny day, but what happens when the sun has gone down and the clouds get dark? On this day many people go through different emotions. Some are happy that their fathers are present, while others feel abandoned. Others are grateful to have dads who are alive, even if he only provides for them financially. Some crave the attention of their fathers and wish they could buy 60 minutes of his time or do a crime just to spend time in the cell with their fathers.

 On the other hand, we have the fathers who try. They try to provide, support and be a man only to learn that they don’t know how. They too were abandoned and have tried to be different but have no idea how to.  The ones in prison trying desperately to change hoping that one day they will get to be a part of their Childs’ life.

To the fathers who have taken the step to adopt, I say bravo. To the fathers who are lost at what their job description entails I say keep trying. To the children who can’t seem to forgive their fathers, I say release. To the children who have the love and support of their fathers, I say share it. Don’t give up on the dads, pray them into being fathers.

To my husband  who never got the chance to be a father but in the short space of time proved to me that he  has the potential to be a great father, I say there is hope. I pray that God will bless the fruit of your loin and one day we will be blessed.

Life’s beautiful


There it was, life’s beauty, just as Mathew 18:3 stated {Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven}



Children running around enjoying themselves, laughing uncontrollably and being fearless. They possess an attitude of freedom, nothing holding them back. They wear a look of confidence on their faces and  a smile which says I will never give up. Just as they fall down, they quickly rise up and commence again. As they  fight, they forgive. These curious kids explore small spaces as if it were a mystery island, they travel from one playground to another and their imagination forces them to create beauty. Carefree, enjoying life and bravely trusting adults to care for them.

If only as adults we possessed these characteristics, there would seldom murders, suicide and less pain. We would be free to think and pursue our thoughts, as worry would not imprison us nor would anxiety. We would understand that in the same instant that someone hurts us we are to forgive. Just as the birds and the bees enjoy nature and the kids explore islands in their back yard we too must take time to be free.  Fill our minds with positive attitudes and use our eyes and imagination to build beautiful scenes. We must become like little children and live as kings and queens in this kingdom.

I do this when I am angry

I usually don’t get angry quickly. However when I do it is as a result of some form of disappointment. I really wish people would be honest regardless of how they feel or not.
If you say that you are going to do something,  try and if you can’t then acknowledge  that you won’t be able to.

5 things I do when I get angry.

1. I cry
My emotions are all over the place and the best way I can release all these feeling is to cry.

2. I write

I may not be the best writer however I just get paper  and I let all my thoughts out.  90% of the time I never reread. I feel that writing is another way to empty out my thoughts. 

3. I vent.

  I find this one individual who I trust and I state my objective: I am not looking for advice, am just here to vent. Following this statement I let out all my anger, frustration or disappointment and wait.  Most times the conversation ends with an OK.  And some light feedback,  nothing judgemental or opinionated.

4. Silence

   This is where I go on for hours in silence.  I say nothing, however I tend to do my chores at this time regardless if they were previously done or not. The sounds of the pans and dishes explode during this time as my silent anger is released on the packing away of dishes. The broom has to hold on for it’s life as I place the weigh of my anger on its shoulder. The bathroom gets happy,  whiles I scrub the same spot for a few mins and the ornaments are joyful as they are placed carefully after their shine.  By the end of this routine I can feel my release of anger decreasing.

5.  I pray

  It’s sad but usually the last thing I do is pray.  How comes I have never thought to pray as soon as I get angry. Regardless,  when I do, I usually go outside,  especially if it’s evening,  I look up to the heavens and I pour my heart out. 

At the end of it all,  I am taking control of my thoughts.  I feel a release and I am able to think and rationalize  the entire situation. Then I forgive. The best medicine for the soul.