I give up


Wow.I have been away from you guys for a while now. I have missed you and now I am back. I would like to start by apologizing for my absence and inform you that I am doing well. Things have been really hectic and I felt like I was on a roller coaster.

I have experienced happiness, excitement, peace within one hour and within minutes onĀ  s I felt miserable, down, depressed, alone. Other times I felt high on anger and a deep sense of pain and loss. What other feelings are there to feel?

The many questions I am bombarded with in my mine is unbelievable. I sift through my thoughts on a morning and file them according to the intensity. As the day goes by I am forced to file many more as they arise and by evening, I find myself encouraging my mind to take control of its thought production. Can an individual feel so confused? Fighting off thoughts and feelings and trying to remain calm. Regardless, I believe at the end of it all the person who walks out of all this ciaos is a strong individual.

What is the underlying reason for all these emotions? The answer I believe is Change. I believe I have changed. For better or worse, that I am not sure of. I would like to think it’s for the better, however, it feels like the worse. I have either toughen up from the sweet soft petal I identified with or I have gotten cold.Things I made an issue of prior to this ciaos feeling of an experience, I disregard now. I made a decision, one which will keep me sane.To give up. I chose to give up on things that pestered me. I quit worrying. I have given up on what I think people may think of me. I have chosen to appreciate simplicity and life, to love laugh and enjoy peace of mind. I chose to live.