Life

When you sit back and take a good look at what life has to offer, it keeps you wondering. Why should one worry or stress themselves out.  Eat, drink and be merry, simple.

The grieving mother

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As the day nears 28.04.16 I keep thinking.  Thinking about what would have been.
What would his smile be like,  his interest,  what hobbies he would posses.
  I catch my self coming close to tears on the way home,  thinking.  Thinking about what sport he would have played, what team he would support.  Whose smile would he would have had.  Thinking deeply about life and how unfair it may seem, but I will hold on to the promises made by God.  Promises which have keep me going 11months 27 days.  I won’t give up.  I chose to celebrate his existence. 

Right now I am feeling

OK.  I am feeling just fine but deep down am so scared of the next few days.  Especially Thursday,  which would have been my sons first birthday.  28.04.16. I am also scared of how I will feel on the 2nd May 2016, the day he left us.  Right now I am just OK. 

I do this when I am angry

I usually don’t get angry quickly. However when I do it is as a result of some form of disappointment. I really wish people would be honest regardless of how they feel or not.
If you say that you are going to do something,  try and if you can’t then acknowledge  that you won’t be able to.

5 things I do when I get angry.

1. I cry
My emotions are all over the place and the best way I can release all these feeling is to cry.

2. I write

I may not be the best writer however I just get paper  and I let all my thoughts out.  90% of the time I never reread. I feel that writing is another way to empty out my thoughts. 

3. I vent.

  I find this one individual who I trust and I state my objective: I am not looking for advice, am just here to vent. Following this statement I let out all my anger, frustration or disappointment and wait.  Most times the conversation ends with an OK.  And some light feedback,  nothing judgemental or opinionated.

4. Silence

   This is where I go on for hours in silence.  I say nothing, however I tend to do my chores at this time regardless if they were previously done or not. The sounds of the pans and dishes explode during this time as my silent anger is released on the packing away of dishes. The broom has to hold on for it’s life as I place the weigh of my anger on its shoulder. The bathroom gets happy,  whiles I scrub the same spot for a few mins and the ornaments are joyful as they are placed carefully after their shine.  By the end of this routine I can feel my release of anger decreasing.

5.  I pray

  It’s sad but usually the last thing I do is pray.  How comes I have never thought to pray as soon as I get angry. Regardless,  when I do, I usually go outside,  especially if it’s evening,  I look up to the heavens and I pour my heart out. 

At the end of it all,  I am taking control of my thoughts.  I feel a release and I am able to think and rationalize  the entire situation. Then I forgive. The best medicine for the soul.

Why don’t we have?

12:57am, and here I am pinning. I love Pinterest. I came across some words which had me reflecting. They are as follows.

James 4:1-2
What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.

There I am thinking I want things,  both material and intangible. I am going to put my faith to the test and ask for what I want believe in him that I will receive.

Complicated women

Men believe women are complicated.  All they need to do is learn a womans love language. Gifts,  touch,  service, words of affirmation and quality time.  Women,  men too have a love language. Study your spouse or ask.

Controversial Love

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Us. Mr and Mrs Emmanuel. If ever I doubted fate then when I met this guy I certainly had faith. Who would have thought that 10 years ago, while enjoying one of my favorite hobbies I would would have met my future husband.

Well, the story goes like this..

I saw this gentle man staring at me with this huge smile. This is basically the first thing i remember about my husband, his smile.Then, he offered for me to take a sit next to him on the bus. This was the beginning of an island adventure, where exploring the piton, taking sea baths and dancing to tropical music under the palm trees. I enjoyed my moments with him, however the day had to come to an end. Therefore, I said my goodbye and was gone. Gone for two years.

We had no form of contact, well back then Facebook really wasn’t an option. With time I learned to forget about the gentleman with the beautiful smile.

College had been stressful, after all my studies involved architecture which I love dearly, but with assignments accumulating I needed a break. It was then, when my soul was tired and restless, I saw the smiling gentleman. My smiling gentleman, occupied with the hands of another. We had perfect eye contact, and it was the longest, most beautiful stare, but then it had to end. That night was long. I regretted not speaking to him or at least getting his number. With that said, I too had my arms occupied.

Another year passed by, and still no contact, until that night when a second eye contact followed by a beautiful smile caught my attention. It was then subconsciously we both told ourselves we would be together, without spoken words. Time had its fun, the wait and wondering would finally be stopped. A decision needed to be made. And it was with that momentous piercing stare.

We met again, coincidentally as if time was on our side. We did utter words this time. Words followed by silly smiles and meaningless nothings. We decided to keep in contact even without thinking about it. It was done. Let the dating games begin.

Two years later I walked down that isle, with butterflies in my tummy, anticipation and excitement to meet this guy with the beautiful smile. This time we decided to capture and make it last. No more smiles from a far, no more late night wondering and no more what if’s.

When you are inspired to do something great, do so. Never give up on beautiful things and people.

 

 

 

 

About

Be inspired, out with the old in with the new. My name is Navita Emmanuel and I choose to think positively. I live in a beautiful tropical island called Saint Lucia, known for lovely pitons, friend…

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